July 24, 2012

Ugh. Sooo much going on in my life right now I just need to get it all out NOW. The first issue we are going to address is my psychopath mother. A few background details, I am 18 years old and graduated high school, and moving to Missoula in the fall to attend university. 


So the other day I was thinking about dying the very tips of my hair pink. I go and tell my mother this, hoping she will support me. Or at least something better than the reaction she gave me. I was told by my mom that I need to grow up. Of all things, to grow up. I am grown up. I dont see any five year olds out there dying their own hair pink. Okay these days, maybe. She seriously goes on for about five minutes about how I need to grow up and I am almost 19 and blah blah blah what kind of impression is this going to make on people, no one will talk to me, et cetera. First off, I dont care what people think of me. I am grown up so I can make this decision if I want. If no one talks to me because I have pink in my hair then society is even more messed up than I thought it was. I see grandmas with exotic colored hair these days. Like honestly Im in college... arent we supposed to be making these "mistakes". Plus, since it will be on the tips, I could just cut it off when I am done with the pink. Or because my hair is black, I could just re dye it, because black hair dye covers up EVERYTHING, a tip.. do not get it on your face you WILL regret it.


Another issue, when I move to Montana, my boyfriend will not be coming with me. I know lots of people think that you need to attend college single, but I dont want to end things with him. So long distance relationship it is. The official move in day is August 25. So that will be the day my heart is ripped in half. My last day seeing him could actually be before that, because we could be going over early. I cry at least once a week because I will be leaving him behind. I love him so much I cant stand to think of what it will be like to not see him at least every other day. I know we can make it through our time apart, but it will be very hard for me, especially at the beginning of all this. I hope he texts me everyday and webcams me too. The only thing I have right now is hope. I am hoping he will transfer spring semester to be with me. But he told me last week he did not want to go. I hope that me being gone will change his mind, because I want us to experience college together. And to be together. We have been together for a year and I want to be with him for many many more. This will test our relationship, so I hope we are strong enough together that we will not fall apart. What was the saying? Distance makes the heart grow fonder? I sure hope so. I love this kid and I want it to work so bad. If two people come together to make one relationship work, I would think that it definitely would. 


On a brighter side, I think I may get my tragus pierced tomorrow. We will see:)