Well. I thought I would do an update on my heart. I still miss Cody everyday. I seriously think about him all the time. I want to learn to let go of him and move on but its really hard for me. Harder than anyone would think. I haven't talked to him in over a month. I texted him and asked him somethings about our relationship but he just texted back and freaked out on my and saying all these horrible things about me. I don't know or understand why all my relationships end up like this, but its clearly all my fault. When I see that hes online on facebook my heart skips a beat and then I realize its all over between us and makes me want to cry. It takes almost everything I have to not text him or call him sometimes but it is for the best. I am tired of caring for someone who doesn't care about me back. Its just hurtful.
I thought I would give a run down of everything that has happened with my heart since I got to college. Here goes. The boy I mentioned before, who I met at orientation, him and his girlfriend broke up again right before school and we were talking and hanging out a lot when we got here. It really seemed like he might like me and out of the depths of my sorrows and pain I thought I had started to like him too. We spent a lot of time together and I thought we were gonna be friends for a long time. I had told him so much of what happened to me and what I had been through and he was going through the same thing and it just seemed like we clicked you know? But I guess I wasn't paying much attention because as things went along he just kept getting shadier and shadier till one day he just quit talking to me and we never talked again. Imagine what it was like for me to just be dumped and then get my hopes up and get dumped, in a way, again. WOW. What a d bag. Like really. All he did was lead me on to drop me for the next bitch walking down the road. I see him from time to time and get this, I see him hanging out with his ex girlfriend all the time, HA. After he talked so much shit about her and saying how shes psycho and stupid and how he hates her and then he takes her back? You re cool bro. No, really. Hahhaha. You are such a tool for talking so much shit about her and then taking her back like nothing happened. I hope it works out for them, I'm not a mean person. No one deserves heartbreak and if they are meant to be, they will be!
After he quit talking to me, I really started focusing on my classes and hanging out with my roommate and her friends. That is until I met a new boy, Kellen. I met Kellen in my biology class. I came in and had skipped the class before, and I needed the notes from someone. I turned to the boy next to me and asked for his notes. Little did I know that we would become such good friends!! We have the same major so we help each other with our homework and studying. Its nice to have a study buddy. Things kind of changed a few Fridays ago though. We went out drinking and when we got back he confessed his love to me!! He told me he liked me a lot and was hoping one day we could be more than friends. The worst part is the next day he couldn't remember what he said and I could. It didn't make things awkward though. I don't let things ruin my relationships with people like that. But he wants more from me and I just don't think I can. I don't think I'm ready for another relationship. Plus, it wouldn't be fair to him because I cant fully give my heart to him because I am still not over Cody. I guess we will see what happens. That's pretty much my update!:)
