Urban Decay: The Feminine Palette

So the other day when I ordered my Urban Decay Naked Skin, I saw that this palette, the Feminine Palette, was on sale! How can you pass up a palette sale!? Ya just can't. I will post what all the other junk I got later:). Like I said in an earlier post, I just LOVE urban decay! I will have to post pictures later too of the palette and such.
So I open the box and the palette itself has a nice iridescent sheen to it and the peacock feathers on it actually have a velvety, soft texture to them. So that was neat!
This is what comes with the palette: an eyeliner pencil in the color "zero", a travel matte primer potion, and the palette itself. The palette comes with these colors: stray dog, swf, Aquarius, midnight cowboy, ecstasy, and darkhorse.

I used the palette today and I loved it!! So fun to experiment with. 

So much yet so little

Well today was the start of the Olympic games. Well yesterday, but its past midnight now. The olympics are just such a grand event. For some reason grand events just get me all choked up lol. I feel like the whole world is on the same page, even if just for a minute. If only the world could get on the same page for other important topics. Or maybe someone should just stand up and be like this is how we have to do this and we are doing it whether you like it or not. Which of course would then be a dictator ship and that is totally not what anyone is going for! Anyway, totally wrong track here. 


I got my Urban Decay Naked Skin in the mail today, it is soo pretty:))) I can't wait to use it.. today.. when I go to work lol. Who needs sleep anymore anyway!? I love Urban Decay they are my favorite brand out there. I have tried Too Faced and their cosmetics dont stay on my face. The only thing I like from Stila is their "Glamour Eyes" mascara. Nars foundation is a bust. But Urban Decay... They are really quality andd they have this great attitude about them. I feel like they fit me really well. Haha random make up rant. 


Lately I just feel kind of depressed. Idk. Like all of this stress over moving and finding a job and having no one except my boyfriend to really talk about this kind of stuff and its really taking its toll on me. When I think about it I have to keep myself from crying. Is this really what I want to do? Is this the right choice for me? Its just hard. And its just piling and piling and piling on and I wonder when it will ever stop. My mom always tells me "life is tough" but really, is it going to be this hard for the rest of my life?? I just have so much to do and everyone is  telling me these days are so exciting and this should be the best time of my life and all I feel is stress coming from them too. Why arent I happy? Am I keeping myself from being happy? Or do I really have issues here. 


You tell me. Here is a list of stressors:
1. My family
2. My boyfriend
3. My job
4. Summer school
5. Passing the math test so I get my AA Degree and my credits transfer
6. Getting a job when I move
7. Who is my roommate?
8. My monthy payments to everyone
9. Leaving my family
10. Leaving my boyfriend
11. How do I keep myself from crying when I say goodbye? Or at least stay composed??
12. How can I do all of these things and still do well in my classes?
13. I have no friends. Will I make any in Montana?
14. What if I try so hard and dont get into pharm school???
I feel like there is more that I am forgetting. Ugh. Life. Again. I feel like all of my posts are about the same thing, but these things have taken over my life. 
And I didnt get to excersize today so I will be fat tomorrow. Awesome. I am so close to losing 5lbs so far and I just want to say I have so I can motivate myself more! Like I have lost five pounds I can lose five more! But Im not there yet. Sigh. Night yall.

Just a Little Poem I Wrote..

Sometimes I feel like a bird with a limp wing
and a broken beak, so I cannot sing.
And as the rest of the world passes by me,
I am stuck here in my grey and decaying tree.
Although my spirit is low,
and I have no where else to go,
I still have you,
and that is what keeps my skies blue.

What a Day

Well lots of things happened today. I worked, went to the YMCA to work out, ate at Froyo. Yep. At froyo I saw some of my dads running buddies so I hung out with them haha 40 year olds and an 18 year old.. alright. I dont really have much else to say. I got my pink trading card sleeves for my world of warcraft cards haha nerdddddddd.

This poem just really speaks to me. Dont let yourself be caged up in emotion, let yourself be weightless and free. If only I could take my own advice.

Just Thought I'd Say...

Sorry if some of this stuff I post seems stupid or irrelevant or offensive. I just need to get it out and I really don't have any friends to talk to about this. Thanks.

Life is Tough

So today started off as any other normal day. Got to work. Closing shift, AGAIN. FML right? Anyway. Get there and there is a beautiful note about how my last close job sucked and I need to do my job better. HA okay whatever. Maybe I should write you  notes about how you need to do YOUR job better. Manager from hell. So la di dah close and make a measly $20 in tips :( this just keeps getting better and better.


Then I head over to my boyfriens house. We were supposed to work out but he lost his running shoes. GO FIGURE. So its time for me to leave and we have a huge crying session again, considering my move in day is in exactly a month. Things involved in the crying session. 1. He isnt going to school with me next year. 2. I will be paying $500 dollars a month to people while in school. 3. He moved to Spokane. 


Lets address #1. So my bf told me the other day he didnt want to go to school in montana next year with me. And so I ask him why and he says "i feel like it is just a bad idea for me. Like I get a bad feeling about it." I am just sitting there trying to decipher what he means by this.  I dont get it. I feel like if he really loved me he would do anything to stay with me and be with me. And what is this bad feeling he has?? Does he think we wont work out? That we will end up breaking up? This kid is like a lead box and Im a cell phone trying to get service, I got nothing. I am trying to be strong but every time I think about leaving its just so hard, sometimes I dont even want to go. And NO my bf is not the only reason why. Which leads to..


#2. $500 a month I have to pay to different things while attending school, working, and trying to maintain a high GPA so I can even get into Pharmacy school! Ugh, sound like a lot on my plate? YA it IS. Lets break down this $500 a month in debt. $190 goes to my bank for my car loan. $100 goes to my parents for loaning me the extra money for the deficit my bank had involving the car loan. I only owe them 8 months of this so I have about 6 to go because they did defer a few months of payment for various reasons. And then about $190 again goes to my student loan payment. This one really pisses me off. The government decided that my parents make so much money a year that they can afford to spend $35000 extra dollars a year on my college education. And that they are so freaking rich that they can start affording the payments right away. Irritating in the most possible way is that my parents are NOT actually paying for it, I am. So screw you government. Honestly, I really think there should be a questionnaire involved with the FAFSA. Because since I am paying for this I should really be the one whos finances are considered and NOT my parents. 


3. My boyfriend moved to Spokane. Yes back to good ol Cody. HE used to live like 10 min away from me and just recently moved to Spokane. I feel like this put unnecessary stress on our relationship before it was really due. Like why couldn't he wait one more month to move rather than jump the gun and move all the sudden. Just another way to break my heart. 

July 24, 2012

Ugh. Sooo much going on in my life right now I just need to get it all out NOW. The first issue we are going to address is my psychopath mother. A few background details, I am 18 years old and graduated high school, and moving to Missoula in the fall to attend university. 


So the other day I was thinking about dying the very tips of my hair pink. I go and tell my mother this, hoping she will support me. Or at least something better than the reaction she gave me. I was told by my mom that I need to grow up. Of all things, to grow up. I am grown up. I dont see any five year olds out there dying their own hair pink. Okay these days, maybe. She seriously goes on for about five minutes about how I need to grow up and I am almost 19 and blah blah blah what kind of impression is this going to make on people, no one will talk to me, et cetera. First off, I dont care what people think of me. I am grown up so I can make this decision if I want. If no one talks to me because I have pink in my hair then society is even more messed up than I thought it was. I see grandmas with exotic colored hair these days. Like honestly Im in college... arent we supposed to be making these "mistakes". Plus, since it will be on the tips, I could just cut it off when I am done with the pink. Or because my hair is black, I could just re dye it, because black hair dye covers up EVERYTHING, a tip.. do not get it on your face you WILL regret it.


Another issue, when I move to Montana, my boyfriend will not be coming with me. I know lots of people think that you need to attend college single, but I dont want to end things with him. So long distance relationship it is. The official move in day is August 25. So that will be the day my heart is ripped in half. My last day seeing him could actually be before that, because we could be going over early. I cry at least once a week because I will be leaving him behind. I love him so much I cant stand to think of what it will be like to not see him at least every other day. I know we can make it through our time apart, but it will be very hard for me, especially at the beginning of all this. I hope he texts me everyday and webcams me too. The only thing I have right now is hope. I am hoping he will transfer spring semester to be with me. But he told me last week he did not want to go. I hope that me being gone will change his mind, because I want us to experience college together. And to be together. We have been together for a year and I want to be with him for many many more. This will test our relationship, so I hope we are strong enough together that we will not fall apart. What was the saying? Distance makes the heart grow fonder? I sure hope so. I love this kid and I want it to work so bad. If two people come together to make one relationship work, I would think that it definitely would. 


On a brighter side, I think I may get my tragus pierced tomorrow. We will see:)

Piercings I want!!

Right ear:
- Tragus
- Industrial
Left ear:
- Conch
- Triple forward helix
Other:
-Navel
-Nipples
-Tongue


yyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeep